"I think I need therapy, but I don’t know why"

That's how my own therapy journey began.

Nothing particular had happened. There wasn’t a big question I needed answering, or a crisis I could point to. I just had a sense of wanting change, and felt drawn to something I couldn't yet understand.

Looking back, I can see that there were parts of me that were managing and functioning well, and parts of me that desperately wanted attention. At the time, I didn’t have language for that, but the knowledge was held deeply - unconsciously - somewhere in my body.

In the first few weeks of therapy, what mattered most wasn’t insight or interpretation. It was something much simpler: having my feelings reflected back to me.

I realised I hadn’t really known that my feelings were valid at all.

I would arrive explaining myself, justifying why I felt annoyed, angry, uncomfortable, or upset. Almost pre-emptively defending my reactions. Over time, I realised I was in a space where I didn’t have to explain or diminish what was happening for me. I could let my experiences be there, and someone would witness them and try to understand them with me.

Starting therapy without a clear reason: learning to trust the process

For many people, the beginning of therapy looks a lot like this. Establishing that it’s okay to show up as you are requires steady, contained relational work which can take weeks or months - or even years. Even when you like your therapist and get on with them, some parts of you continue to resist until the space feels safe enough that they can soften.

Allowing yourself to go at your own pace matters. Noticing the parts of you that want to slow down, alongside the parts that want to push through or “do therapy properly”, is important work in itself.

What shows up in the therapy room often mirrors day-to-day life

What happens in the therapy room is rarely separate from what’s happening elsewhere in your life. The ways you speak, hold back, rush, justify, withdraw, or try to stay in control often show up there too. Simply noticing these patterns - without trying to change them - is a significant first step.

Over time, in ongoing weekly therapy, the work begins to evolve.

The journey that begins to unfold is completely unique to you; each session a connection to something that is yours and only yours. Some arrive with immediate resistance, fear, or distrust. Some feel an instant sense of connection, followed by a sense of having overshared. Some feel they can't possibly fit everything they're feeling into one session. Others run out of things to say within the first ten minutes.

However you show up is valid. And whatever we notice together about the way you show up is part of the process.

Therapy doesn’t have to begin with knowing what’s wrong. It begins with recognising, noticing, and being noticed. From there, a steady, attentive presence to your experience allows the work to unfold in its own time.

You don’t need to arrive with answers. Showing up is enough.

If you’re thinking about therapy, you’re welcome to get in touch via my contact page.